Tuesday, April 10, 2012

My fight against Lupus " a truthful soul "



True soul = you

When I read those words tears streamed down my face

they pierced through my heart

like an arrow. A gift of wisdom from my friend

Tracie at My Petite Maison...that she had left for me

one day in my comment section after reading

one of my posts.





 Lupus has taught me so much especially about

one's soul. Was I wandering

 through my days fighting this illness and being the

fire and light that I hoped

and prayed I would be?

 

My blog has always been a place that I could

bare my soul. To speak boldly and go before

another with honesty and not be afraid

of the thoughts of others.



When I entered into my

first remission before the holidays I prayed to God that

I would be grateful for each day and not 

for how long it would last.

Shortly after the new year began I noticed things

taking place within my body and knew that

my remission had come to an end.



  

 Last month our faith was tested

with a terrible migraine that

lasted for a few days and suddenly turned into

a 911 for us. I lost my vision in my right eye along with the use

of the entire right side of my body. After I was evaluated in

the emergency room the doctor told Mr. Dior that I was

 being transported by ambulance code three to a hospital that had

a Nuero surgeon waiting for me. They had a twenty minute window

to give me the best chance if I was having a stroke. After a tearful kiss

goodbye to my love Mr. Dior I was on my way.

 The ambulance ride was quite tramatic as many things began to get worse.

 My blood pressure and blood sugar was in a terrible place

and my mouth began to droop. 

Once I arrived so much started to happen

while they quickly performed test after test

and started injecting me with blood thinners.

 Thankfully and by God's grace the test results

showed no stroke had taken place but the Lupus was affecting the

neurological function of my brain.

The recovery took awhile with physical therapy and

and medication to gain back my mobility.

At this point my muscle tissue has been damaged in that area.

The past few weeks have been bittersweet...



This amazing man has been

my anchor and rock.

Twenty five years ago when we still were just friends

he would say to me " your gonna push me in my

wheel chair when I am old " we would laugh and now

as a married couple we are laughing

 through our tears knowing

it might be the other way around for us.

Life is beautiful no matter what cross

we are bearing there is beauty

to be unfolded in our hearts.



It is humbling to think an illness would feel

like a gift in your life but for me it truly is.

I have learned about healing in my

 own heart and how you cannot live

a life without grace.


 To love more deeply than I ever

thought possible and embrace my

  journey with God's perfect plan for my life.



When you pass through the waters I will be with you

And through the rivers, they will not overflow you

When you walk through the fire you will

not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you

Isaiah 43 : 2


To each of you who have given to

me your love, support and prayers

my cup runneth over...

63 comments:

Sheila said...

You are such a survivor...you are so strong and so beautiful. i am glad that you are home and with the ones you love...God is so good!

Smiles & Blessings,
Sheila

www.MaisonStGermain.com said...

Dear Kate,
You have tought us so much through every post you have shared with us. Through your blog we have learned how to love stronger and live more. We love you and I am always praying for you and your beautiful family. You CAN beat this. (If my crazy aunt in her late 70's can, you sure can;) Your family is so fortunate to have such a wonderful woman in their life as you are with them. The power of prayer is so strong and I know there are lots of us out here who pray for you all of the time. Try to stay strong.
Love,
~Debra xxx
Capers of the vintage vixens

Rosemary@villabarnes said...

You are an amazing couple, and define the true meaning of marriage. You are in my prayers. May you continue to be, "Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;" Romans 12:12

Alabaster Rose Designs said...

Oh honey,
You always amaze me Kate!! Your strength and your positive outlook on everything even in the worst and scariest times in your life blows me away!
I know what it's like to have that type of super special relationship with your husband, I have the same with mine. And I know what it's like to be the one who has to stand back and watch their spouse, like your sweet husband, go through hell. It's harder than anything in the world. But I know that just having each other each and everyday to wake up to makes all of the pain fade away and makes life bearable!!
God bless you Kate, you are truly one of my heroes!!
Take care!!
Sincerely,
Melinda

Tracie~MyPetiteMaison said...

Hi Kate,
I have read your post three times so far, the first time w/my husband by my side.

You are truly a woman full of grace and light. I am so proud to call you friend. Your post gave back something to me, a reminder tonight to not lose a moment over the cloudy small stuff in life (I needed it so much tonight), in YOUR post you have given back to ME.

I have lit a candle for you and Mr. Dior just a moment ago and will say a prayer after I sign off here, Kate.
xoxo~Tracie

Vintage Market Place said...

Oh Kate,
I had no idea that you were hit with this lupus again.
My heart was swelling with every sentence I read and hoping it was all a dream for you.
So glad to hear that it wasn't a stroke.
The world is not perfect only the paradise that awaits us...
But having that guy by your side has to make everyday a paradise.
My thoughts are with you BIG HUGS
Amy

Cheryl~ZanyMayd said...

Dearest Kate & Mr. Dior, Please remember you are always in my thoughts & more important my Prayers.... You're the couple I admire, Mr. Dior is the example of the Man I hope God places in My Life ~ Kate, You are a Shining Example of Love, Courage & Strength...
Hugs & Kisses to you both!
XOX
Cheryl

Deanna @ It's Just Me said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deanna @ It's Just Me said...

Ms. Kate, first let me say that I am sending you a HUGE hug. You have been one of my favorite people that I have gotten the pleasure of becoming friends with. Second, this post has touched me MORE than you could know. Of course you know my struggles this past year & 1/2 with cancer and you're right, when you have something like that teaches you SO much about every aspect of your life. How you can not take anything for granted. You my dear friend are a gift to your family, your friends, your readers and me. Thank you for sharing your heart with us and showing us what true grace is ~
Your friend -
Sincerely,
Deanna

June said...

Kate, I adore you!!! I have such admiration for your strength and how you have turned this illness into a triumph. You have such a beautiful spirit...and I know your husband does too. What a special man!
sending much love...

Faded Charm said...

Oh Kate.....as my eyes fill with tears for what you have been going through all I can think is "what an amazing woman this is to find such strength and overcome her illness and find the positive in it". I think back on the day I met you(by chance) and felt so welcomed by you and your sweet husband as we were talking.

I also appreciate that you share this journey with us because I truly think it helps people cope with whatever they are going through or even try to be a better person because of your words:-)

Wishing you the best of luck my sweet friend.

xoxo
Kathleen

Rebecca said...

Dear Kate~

Many years ago (about 26) I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder they originally thought was Lupus. I was devastated at the time because I had a tiny baby and a young son. I was more than afraid when I looked at the big picture because back then so little was known about my rare condition (Hereditary Angio Edema/HAE). About 20 years ago I was sitting in church when I felt something strange on top of my head. As weird as this may sound to others I knew at that moment I was being healed. I'd prayed for healing...my family prayed for healing...and it came. Although my blood work still shows I have HAE I've been symptom free since that night.

I believe in the healing touch of Jesus and I want you to know I'm lifting you up to the Most High and trusting your healing will come soon.

Love to you~
Rebecca

middle child said...

You have a beautiful heart.

Anne Lorys - Fiona and Twig said...

Do you know that you are my hero?
Well, you are.

lisa Moran, Bilancia Designs said...

Beautiful pictures, Kate. You look gorgeous--as always.
I will share my thoughts in a personal email, though.
Love to you, my friend. xoxoxo

Rachel Pallas said...

Oh Kate you have such a beautiful spirit. You are such an inspiration. Im so sorry to hear what youve had to endure. Sometimes I know its hard to know what God's master plan is. Thanks so much for sharing your heart and your painful times. Love you girl! oxoxo

Rachel Pallas said...

BEAUTIFUL photos btw! ox

Mike Grant said...

Your such an inspiration for all people I love you for being who you are, you'll always be in my heart and I'll always be there for you whenever you need me.

Mike Grant said...

Your such an inspiration for all people I love you for being who you are, you'll always be in my heart and I'll always be there for you whenever you need me.

blhitchcock901 said...

Amazing Grace. I wouldn't want to go it without Him! Your story is real-an inspiration to me. Thanks for sharing your heart. Will pray for you. I have a friend who has Lupus and my daughter went through a scare when she was 14 with two years of uncertainty. Her dx was "suggestive of, but not conclusive to." Everytime she has joint pains, I get scared. My mom had RA.

It's me said...

You are like an angel darling.....you have a beautiful heart and soul......i love you...hope you will feeling better soon...i will pray for you.....God is great....only He can do this with you....love love love .,...xxx....

ShantyGirl said...

You are such a wonderful light, your husband is awesome and I love that you have such an incredible life, I hate that you are fighting lupus and that you had a severe attack on your brain. I will pray for you and your strength and a cure for this disease. You are so inspiring to so many I pray that you continue to feel the light and be the light. Sincerely
Sherry

Sherry said...

Kate, you have a beautiful heart and spirit. Thanks for sharing your story and your words of inspiration.

Annie Louise said...

Kate and Mr. Dior,
What amazing and inspirational people you are. Holding you very close in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so thankful you did not have a stroke--you and Mr. Dior are extremely strong. Thank you for sharing your struggles and triumphs with us. Thinking and praying for you,
Jeanette

Kari said...

Hi Kate,
What an amazing post, it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for your honesty and integrity. I am so glad you are OK and that you have a wonderful husband by your side. You are a light to many including myself.

xoxo
Kari

brittneeV said...

Hi Kate,
Thank you for sharing with us and i was shocked to know you have Lupus too! I have 2 forms of Lupus (Systemic and Discoid Lupus). It runs in my family 1 uncle and 2 aunts...Its a constant struggle for me but with a great support system anything is possible <3 I have to take predisone to supress the inflammation in my body and Plaquenil 400mg for the rest of my life. Taking medication daily is something i do not want to depend on but i pray that God will heal me and other Lupus survivors =)
im so happy your husband is by your side =) how awesome and blessed you are! you are truly an inspiration Kate and thank you for talking about your Lupus so others can be aware of disease so we can all share our stories <3
best wishes and in my prayers hun xox

Irma@CosasBellas said...

I love you SO much Lady Kate, what an incredible gift you are to me!

Always in my prayers,
Irma

BTW: If you're wondering why I now call you Lady Kate... Lady: A woman who is refined, polite, and well spoken. One who is kind, gracious, considerate and generous. Most of all VIRTUOUS, honoring her God and reflecting that to the world.

Jann Olson said...

Oh Kate, what a tender post. You have pulled at my heart so very much. the picture of you and Mr. Dior is precious. I am so sorry to hear that you have Lupus. So glad that you did not have a stroke. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you and hubby the best with your struggles. You are strong and will beat this!

aarond said...

Kate, keep fighting, you can win this battle. I am so thankful you have a wonderful husband as I know mine would be too. The good news is you did not have a stroke. You are beautiful and will continue to be strong i know. I just joined your blog and I hope you will join me too. I live on a farm and you might like to see some of the new baby animals pictures. They always make me feel better.

Praying for you,

Deena

Burlap Luxe said...

Kate, you are a grace of amazement to everyone! for he who has faith has everything through him.

With your words I am strengthened, and for your brave fight in trusting and giving it to the Lord to burden.
My sweet friend you do not know how much your honest words speak out to all who hear.

Take shelter dwelling in his tent, take shelter in his wings for our God will care for you gently.

Psalm 61:4

What a model of beauty you are, inside and out.
You and Mr. Dior have been blessed to have found each other, for there was not a doubt in Gods plans that you too would become one.

xoxo
Dore

A Cottage Muse said...

Sending you, your wonderful mister and your family my very best and will be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. You are amazing!
Having my wonderful mister by my side during my surgery last year made all the difference in the world. Love is beautiful!

Bohemian said...

Oh my Dear Kate... my Prayers are with you and your Family during your battle with this illness and as you heal. What a heartfelt Post! You are truly an Inspiration and it provides strength to many of the rest of us who are also dealing with the struggles of health related challenges either personally or with Loved ones.

God Bless and Healing energies and Prayers being sent your way from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Nancy said...

I found your site thru Pinterest and am your newest follower. My prayers shall be with you and I've given you a shout out on our family blog. Here's the link and God bless you, Kate.

http://johnhoodfamily.blogspot.com/2012/04/places-to-visit.html

CURIOUS BOYS said...

KATE . . . I had a stroke 6 years ago and, after physical therapy, have made a full recovery! You and I are lucky to have survived and given another chance to SHARE OUR LOVE!Thank God you also have the love of a SOUL-MATE who will ALWAYS take care of you!! We Absolutely love your blog . . . BIG HUGS!!! JOE & GLENN

Rusty Hinge said...

Kate, you are beautiful! I can't understand the pain that you are going through...Just like my sister, who was diagnosed with RA at age 22, with two young babies. Her hands are already becoming deformed and the pain she deals with everyday... she is so close in age to me and my best friend, what can I say to her in her daily struggle? Only what I can say to you as well, God Will carry you. Like my Grandma once told me "there is pain in every pew" and we don't understand the 'whys' in life, only that He promises so much more than this world through the sacrifice of His Son. You are in my prayers, dear Kate!
Maria
PS. I was sent over by Joy at Savvycityfarmer. So glad to meet you!

Karin said...

Via via kom ik op je blog terecht.
Wens je heel veel kracht en geluk toe samen met je lieve man!
geniet van elk moment,groetjes karin

Low Tide High Style said...

Attitude is everything when you have a devastating illness like Lupus, and you have such a beautiful attitude and spirit. Wishing you all the best as you walk your path to recovery, side by side with the one you love and who clearly loves you too!

Kat

Debra @ Common Ground said...

We all love you Kate! Please know that even in the hardest times, God is right there with you. Never stop believing that God's plans for you are good. Even when our physical symptoms say otherwise, believe God everyday for "better". (I thank Him each day for health and healing)You're in my prayers. much love, I know where you're coming from.

Bonnie Schulte said...

Sometimes I feel that life is so unfair. I read you story with tears in my eyes. I will keep you in my prayers, and may God hold you in the palm of his hand. Sending hugs your way, Kate.

My Sparrows Nest said...

Thank you for sharing your journey and your faith. You are so inspirational and courageous as you accept your "thorn in the flesh." God is using this trial in your life to allow you to reach so many people with His love and goodness. Thank you for being a tool that He can use. Thanks for being so honest.

My Sparrows Nest said...

Thank you for sharing your journey and your faith. You are so inspirational and courageous as you accept your "thorn in the flesh." God is using this trial in your life to allow you to reach so many people with His love and goodness. Thank you for being a tool that He can use. Thanks for being so honest.

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Dear Kate, I have seen your name around Blogland and I know Joy from Savvy City Farmer. Upon visiting her today, I found your post. You are brave. Your husband is remarkable and both of you will be a testimony of the LOVE OF GOD. Plain and simple. That is all we ever will do through every challenge that comes our way.

BE WELL, and yes, YOU ARE RIGHT. COUNT EVERY DAY AS A BLESSING!!!! You are sooooooo beautiful! Anita

ImSoVintage said...

Hi Kate,
It is so nice to meet you and feel your inspiration. As I sit here this weekend waiting on the results of some diagnostic tests you have shown me how to live each day as a blessing.
Laura

joanne said...

what a beautiful soul you are....i am in awe. thank you for sharing your life and inspiration....i ask God to wrap His loving arms around you, and keep you safe in His unending care...

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Dear Kate,

Yes, we have a mutual friend in NJ that without HER, I would NOT EVEN BE on a new life journey. She has taken me to new height with her wisdom, encouragement and friendship. She is AMAZING, and I thank you for coming to visit. I ONLY WISH THE MOST MIRACULOUS OF MIRACLES TO OCCUR in your life to grant you HEALTH and peace. We are all connected in some way, and just know that my heart is with you.....enjoy this wonderful Sunday. Anita

Patti said...

Sending Prayers to you and your husband!!!

Patti

Theresa said...

You are so beautiful on the outside because you are so beautiful on the inside. Kate, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your lovely family, may you feel His healing touch very soon. The strength and faith that you exude are a lesson for us all... thank you. Sending much love, t.xoxoxo

Michele @ The Nest at Finch Rest said...

Dearest sweet Kate,

May you both be truly comforted in your Faith and the strength of your love - and in knowing many many many of us are on our knees in prayer for you.

God bless you as you heal, and I hope in the deepest part of my soul for your remission soon.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

You amaze me with your strength, and are such an inspiration.

God's grace and peace be with you always.

Linda @ Itsy Bits And Pieces said...

Kate, I was sorry to hear that you are in flare~ that must have been a very scary time for you all...I am glad it was not a stroke, and I'm hoping you will go into remission again soon! Sending prayers and good thoughts... a BIG XO

trash talk said...

Kate,
Just as steel is strengthened through forging, so are you and your precious marriage each time y'all walk through the fire. I praise God with you each time He is there to walk you safely through and cover you with His love and faithfulness.
That you refuse to allow Lupus to define you or strip you of your happiness is a true witness of your faith. Praise God for sending you the perfect match for your soul...first as your friend...then as your husband. Together you are beautiful, not only of face, but of spirit. Not two...one. One unstoppable team to show the world how it's done.
May God bless you both and may He continue to hold you and heal you.
Debbie
P.S. You may be a tiny little thing...but girl...you have the biggest heart out there.

Daphne Nicole & Lynda Cade said...

Kate, this post has the tears rolling down my face. Your such an amazing women, with so much strength. I'm so sorry for all that you have gone through. I do beleive in the power of prayer and will be praying for your healing sweet friend.
Big hugs~~~Daphne

vignette design said...

So glad Joy sent me here. Reading this post really put everything in perspective. I hope and pray you are recovering from this flare up. You are beautiful, both inside and out. Sending thoughts and prayers your way to you and your darling husband. ~Delores @ vignette design

Blondiensc said...

I am so so sorry you had to go through all of this my dear, you are such a blessing to so many of us, I am so blessed to know and have met you...and I know you bless others by just being you! I hope God puts a healing hand on your heart, I know he has a plan for you and I am so happy he put your Mr. Dior into it once again! stay strong and please lean on me if you need anything my dear...love you! Tara

Object of Maya*ffection said...

OH Kate...I had no idea you were fighting such a battle. Thankfully it wasn't a stroke. I wish all the best to you and your wonderful hubby...I will keep y'all in my prayers.

Gypsy Heart said...

I found your blog via Joy and I am so very grateful I did. You are truly amazing and I'm so happy that you brought sunshine to my life this afternoon. I've been sweating the small stuff ~ water leak, car problems...and that's nothing really.

You are truly beautiful and I think that you and your husband epitomize what marriage should be about. I will hold you in prayer and light a candle this evening. I'm sending you positive, healing energy and a huge hug!

Pat

Elizabeth said...

Hello Kate,

I have come over from Savvy City Farmer and I must say that Joy is right...you are beautiful inside and out.

After wiping the tears from my eyes I have you on my prayer list and am hopeing that you are feeling so much better.

You are blessed in so many ways, first with your faith in God and second that you have such a wonderful and caring man in your husband who is by your side as you struggle in this journey.

Your faith is an inspiration! There is not other way to put it, your messgaes of faith in God are sure to help others also.

At this point it is all about you! I am sending you love, prayers and hope for another remissions.

Take care of you and know that there are so many who are regular friends and followers and some that have just discovered you who are praying and rooting for you.

Elizabeth @ pineconesandacorns

martha said...

God bless you and yours.

Michele said...

Dear Kate ~ You have touched my heart by being so genuine and sincere. You truly are an angel ~ My prayers are going out for you Dear Kate.

May the love and peace of God be with you always ~

Sincerely,
Michele

FleasKneesStudio.blogspot.com said...

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I just went thru a family trauma and your words about learning about God's grace rang so true. He carried us through it, and i know He will do the same for you. My mother's best friend was diagnosed with lupus and given only a few months to live. But she lived a long happy and productive life after that in spite of their predictions. She had a deep faith, like you. Blessings, Linda. HomeForGood,Net

Auntie Bliss said...

Bless you Kate.
I have MS myself and my husband and I have that same wheelchair joke going...he is 10 years older than me.
I hope you get to full recovery and remission! God is good all.the.time.
:)

mcknnyka said...

I found your blog on pinterest. It just so happens that I am coming out of remission as well. Just this past week. I have 3 autoimmune diseases and they are all coming out this week. I have been blessed with 2 years of remission, not perfect, but manageable. This week the diseases have ripped through my body. I fluxuate between pity and peace. I, too, am lucky enough to have a man who stands by my side and never complains..just loves me. Just wanted to leave you a comment....I hope you continue to find peace and joy in this life we are given.

Denise at PinkPostcard. said...

just beautiful. I hope you don't mind me sharing this post on my FB page. Inspiring.

Linda@Coastal Charm said...

Kate,
I'm so sorry to hear that you are going thru this, but it does sound like you have God in your life and he will be there for you. I will be sure to keep you and your hubby in my prayers.

Blessings,
Linda

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