True soul = you
When I read those words tears streamed down my face
they pierced through my heart
like an arrow. A gift of wisdom from my friend
Tracie at My Petite Maison...that she had left for me
one day in my comment section after reading
one of my posts.
Lupus has taught me so much especially about
one's soul. Was I wandering
through my days fighting this illness and being the
fire and light that I hoped
and prayed I would be?
My blog has always been a place that I could
bare my soul. To speak boldly and go before
another with honesty and not be afraid
of the thoughts of others.
When I entered into my
first remission before the holidays I prayed to God that
I would be grateful for each day and not
for how long it would last.
Shortly after the new year began I noticed things
taking place within my body and knew that
my remission had come to an end.
Last month our faith was tested
with a terrible migraine that
lasted for a few days and suddenly turned into
a 911 for us. I lost my vision in my right eye along with the use
of the entire right side of my body. After I was evaluated in
the emergency room the doctor told Mr. Dior that I was
being transported by ambulance code three to a hospital that had
a Nuero surgeon waiting for me. They had a twenty minute window
to give me the best chance if I was having a stroke. After a tearful kiss
goodbye to my love Mr. Dior I was on my way.
The ambulance ride was quite tramatic as many things began to get worse.
My blood pressure and blood sugar was in a terrible place
and my mouth began to droop.
Once I arrived so much started to happen
while they quickly performed test after test
and started injecting me with blood thinners.
Thankfully and by God's grace the test results
showed no stroke had taken place but the Lupus was affecting the
neurological function of my brain.
The recovery took awhile with physical therapy and
and medication to gain back my mobility.
At this point my muscle tissue has been damaged in that area.
The past few weeks have been bittersweet...
This amazing man has been
my anchor and rock.
Twenty five years ago when we still were just friends
he would say to me " your gonna push me in my
wheel chair when I am old " we would laugh and now
as a married couple we are laughing
through our tears knowing
it might be the other way around for us.
Life is beautiful no matter what cross
we are bearing there is beauty
to be unfolded in our hearts.
It is humbling to think an illness would feel
like a gift in your life but for me it truly is.
I have learned about healing in my
own heart and how you cannot live
a life without grace.
To love more deeply than I ever
thought possible and embrace my
journey with God's perfect plan for my life.
When you pass through the waters I will be with you
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you
When you walk through the fire you will
not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you
Isaiah 43 : 2
To each of you who have given to
me your love, support and prayers
my cup runneth over...